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Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Are You Getting FUCKed Properly? (My Thoughts on Relationships)
Men are confused. They're conflicted. They want a woman who's their intellectual equal, but they're afraid of women like that. They want a woman they can dominate, but then they hate her for being weak. It's an ambivalence that goes back to a man's relationship with his mother. Source of his life, center of his universe, object of both his fear and his love. ~ Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider (from Northern Exposure: Cicely, 1992)
In relationships, there is never a "perfect match" or "true compatibility," regardless of what the E-Harmony schmuck says. But I do believe whole-heartily that there must be some kind of balance, or "common ground" of sorts.
I have been through a lot of relationships, and most of them ended because one of us (usually yours truly) got fucked the wrong way. And there are a lot of wrong ways to get fucked, trust me. But, I've figured out that there's a right way to get fucked:
Financial Stability (and/or Security)
Unity
Caring (& Sharing)
Keep-worthiness
For each category, you must ask yourself these questions (at least):
Financial Stability (and/or Security)
1- Do they have a stable income? (Preferably, a steady job)
2- How do they manage their bills? (Are they in debt?)
3- Are they responsible with money?
4- Could you trust them with your money and/or resources?
Unity
1- Do you have common interests, goals, hobbies, etc?
2- Are you satisfied with their "prowess"?
3- Can the both of you be a "united front" as parents?*
4- Do you (or can you) see a good future together?
Caring (& Sharing)
1- When you're sick, do they show signs of concern (fix you some soup, call to "check on you", etc)?
2- If the kid(s) are sick, do they help you care for them with little or no complaint? (Again, pets can be considered children.)*
3- Can they empathize with you without patronizing you?
4- Do they do nice things for you "just because" and not to kiss your ass or make up for being an asshole?
Keep-worthiness
1- Would you feel comfortable introducing them to family members and/or close friends? Would the reactions be positive?
2- How do your kid(s) feel about them (are they accepting of them)?*
3- Without knowing how you feel about something, do they have similar feelings on the subject?
4- Do they respect you and the kid(s)? (Example: Not pressuring you to do stuff you don't want to do and/or are uncomfortable doing; doesn't belittle you or call you names; etc) *
Scoring: For every "yes" answer, add 1 point. For every "no" answer, add no points.
* = For those who do not have children, pets can be substituted. :-D
(05-22-2007 @ 01:44am)
In relationships, there is never a "perfect match" or "true compatibility," regardless of what the E-Harmony schmuck says. But I do believe whole-heartily that there must be some kind of balance, or "common ground" of sorts.
I have been through a lot of relationships, and most of them ended because one of us (usually yours truly) got fucked the wrong way. And there are a lot of wrong ways to get fucked, trust me. But, I've figured out that there's a right way to get fucked:
Financial Stability (and/or Security)
Unity
Caring (& Sharing)
Keep-worthiness
For each category, you must ask yourself these questions (at least):
Financial Stability (and/or Security)
1- Do they have a stable income? (Preferably, a steady job)
2- How do they manage their bills? (Are they in debt?)
3- Are they responsible with money?
4- Could you trust them with your money and/or resources?
Unity
1- Do you have common interests, goals, hobbies, etc?
2- Are you satisfied with their "prowess"?
3- Can the both of you be a "united front" as parents?*
4- Do you (or can you) see a good future together?
Caring (& Sharing)
1- When you're sick, do they show signs of concern (fix you some soup, call to "check on you", etc)?
2- If the kid(s) are sick, do they help you care for them with little or no complaint? (Again, pets can be considered children.)*
3- Can they empathize with you without patronizing you?
4- Do they do nice things for you "just because" and not to kiss your ass or make up for being an asshole?
Keep-worthiness
1- Would you feel comfortable introducing them to family members and/or close friends? Would the reactions be positive?
2- How do your kid(s) feel about them (are they accepting of them)?*
3- Without knowing how you feel about something, do they have similar feelings on the subject?
4- Do they respect you and the kid(s)? (Example: Not pressuring you to do stuff you don't want to do and/or are uncomfortable doing; doesn't belittle you or call you names; etc) *
Scoring: For every "yes" answer, add 1 point. For every "no" answer, add no points.
* = For those who do not have children, pets can be substituted. :-D
(05-22-2007 @ 01:44am)
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