Monday, May 23, 2011

If you wrote your autobiography, what would the title be?

"Don't Have MPD, We All Have the Same Surname."

...or something like that. I really haven't given it much thought. Been working on my autobio since I was 10 and never thought about the title. Hmm... *ponders*

Ask me anything

kids with special needs aren't weird or odd. They only want what everyone wants... to be accepted. Can I make a request? Is anyone willing to send this to all of their followers. It is Special Education week & Autism Awareness Month,and this is in honour.

Um... I can ask people to come to my site and click on this link to see what I'm talking about... I really can't do the copy and past thing right now. :( *hugz* <3

Ask me anything

Hit the ask followers button?

Um... I rarely do. ;)

Ask me anything

What was your favorite childhood meal?

Buttermilk raisin pancakes that my dad made from scratch -- but that only the first thing I can think of. My dad was an awesome cook. <3

Ask me anything

me defina em uma palavra ... '# Repasse

Que? No comprendo. Yo puedo leer espanol solamente un poco. Lo siento, dulce. :( <3

Ask me anything

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Random Bits O' Rambles

I seriously don't know what to write about tonight. I was bored, so I logged into SL - only to find that the way I designed my character (months ago) looks all wrong. So for about an hour, I've been trying to fix it - only to fuck it up even more. GAH! *sigh*

I don't know if I even want to bother playing SL anymore. Considering I only log in after Teh Kidlets are in bed, that doesn't leave me a lot of time to learn stuff or whatever. And DB didn't put that rule on me - it my own rule so as not to get re-sucked into the crack that is MMO games. I enjoy MMOs, I really do -- it's just that I have a highly addictive personality & I can't multitask playing an MMO & caring for my kids at the same time.

Anyway --

I think my heart is starting to recover from the low blow on Sunday. Definitely learned a lesson: Make people earn their spots in my heart. Giving away chunks of myself is a foolish thing and it will not happen again. Those already in my inner circle are ok- but if I add any more to that layer of trust, they will have to first prove their worth to me.

I am also bored enough to troll the person who temporarily broke my heart. Nothing major - just a lil bit of a mind-fuck in progress. Something to entertain myself while adjusting to my still-new BP medication.

I hope to get out on Saturday -- may have to take Teh Kidlets to see Papa (Daddy-O) on Sunday after he returns from church. Or something. I really need a day off to relax & stuffs. Hopefully the weather is nice enough for a loooooong walk. I could definitley use the exercise, at the very least. LMAO ;)


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Revolations (part 1)

Today is now begun. I've only a few blinks of sleep from last night, but I am wholly awake. Dawn arrived about an hour ago, and the birds are chirping softly to each other as they search & gather breakfast for their wee offspring.

It's nice to be able to jot down my thoughts again - to be able to sit, ponder & write. It's something I've done for over 20 years - and it hasn't failed me yet.

I still feel jaded about romance & soulmates, but that has to be set aside. I do still long for my cosmic other half, but I am somewhat-content to just let my search cease. My children was, is and always will be a fathomless source of love, laughter and life lessons - so my life continues on its primary mission: Motherhood.

Finding an equal balance of roles will be tricky, but I feel a renewed sense of confidence that I can & will figure it all out. Maybe not today, this week or even this year. But the process has re- commenced -- and my journey will continue.

As "they" say: Life does (truly) go on. And on... and on...


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

An Actual Entry, For Once *snerk*

I wish I could stop feeling so goddamned jaded. Every time I think about romance or hear a schm00py song, I want to cry. I can't believe that shit is effecting me so much. Maybe b/c I let my guard completely down - for the 1st time in almost 19 years? That, deep down, I realized just how much stock I really put into the concept of "true love"? That, despite my cynicism, I really am just a lost half of a soul, desperately seeking for the other half to complete me?

Only to be let down... again. I really am starting to think that was my last attempt to find that Someone who would complete me. Maybe my soul had preordained this fruitless mission only to further compound my doubts about love & romance.

I still want to cry - let out all this pain. This anguish, this torment -- but, no. I must keep it locked up. I have to just trudge thru life bearing the weight of this PLUS all my other inner-torments. And suffer silently - b/c that is where my inner resolve is truly fueled.

No more searching -- back to just research. Experience has created a cold spot in what was a warm hearth. No more allowing myself to be duped or deceived - EVER AGAIN.