Friday, February 11, 2011

Are You Getting FUCKed Properly? (My Thoughts on Relationships)

Men are confused. They're conflicted. They want a woman who's their intellectual equal, but they're afraid of women like that. They want a woman they can dominate, but then they hate her for being weak. It's an ambivalence that goes back to a man's relationship with his mother. Source of his life, center of his universe, object of both his fear and his love. ~ Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider (from Northern Exposure: Cicely, 1992)

In relationships, there is never a "perfect match" or "true compatibility," regardless of what the E-Harmony schmuck says. But I do believe whole-heartily that there must be some kind of balance, or "common ground" of sorts.

I have been through a lot of relationships, and most of them ended because one of us (usually yours truly) got fucked the wrong way. And there are a lot of wrong ways to get fucked, trust me. But, I've figured out that there's a right way to get fucked:

Financial Stability (and/or Security)
Caring (& Sharing)

For each category, you must ask yourself these questions (at least):

Financial Stability (and/or Security)

1- Do they have a stable income? (Preferably, a steady job)

2- How do they manage their bills? (Are they in debt?)

3- Are they responsible with money?

4- Could you trust them with your money and/or resources?


1- Do you have common interests, goals, hobbies, etc?

2- Are you satisfied with their "prowess"?

3- Can the both of you be a "united front" as parents?*

4- Do you (or can you) see a good future together?

Caring (& Sharing)

1- When you're sick, do they show signs of concern (fix you some soup, call to "check on you", etc)?

2- If the kid(s) are sick, do they help you care for them with little or no complaint? (Again, pets can be considered children.)*

3- Can they empathize with you without patronizing you?

4- Do they do nice things for you "just because" and not to kiss your ass or make up for being an asshole?


1- Would you feel comfortable introducing them to family members and/or close friends? Would the reactions be positive?

2- How do your kid(s) feel about them (are they accepting of them)?*

3- Without knowing how you feel about something, do they have similar feelings on the subject?

4- Do they respect you and the kid(s)? (Example: Not pressuring you to do stuff you don't want to do and/or are uncomfortable doing; doesn't belittle you or call you names; etc) *

Scoring: For every "yes" answer, add 1 point. For every "no" answer, add no points.

* = For those who do not have children, pets can be substituted. :-D

(05-22-2007 @ 01:44am)

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