Can someone please tell me...

...why I feel like curling up in a ball in my bed & sobbing my eyes out like a lil bitch?! This is just nuckin' futz -- I was fine at work -- but then, compartmentalizing my feelings has always been one of my strong suits of armor I wear out in the Real World. I just don't fucking get it... I start waxing nostalgic and BAM! I want to cry, scream, throw cotton balls at the walls (I'm too broke to afford to pay my landlord any more $ but the rent LOL) or just beat teh shit out of my pillow or something. I'm tempted to cast a circle & do a tarot reading but somehow I think I just need to go within and figure this out without the aid of pictorials. *sigh* There are a few ppl that I wish were online right now so that I could talk to them -- but what I really want is to talk to them face-to-face so I can cry and they can just hug me. I'm not asking Dipshit Superstar for a hug... he hates giving me any affection unless it can be translated into foreplay. GAH!!! :(